April 2nd

What's the significance of April 2nd? Or anything else in my crazy dream I had last night? I have no idea.  Anyway, here it all is, it was so real I could have sworn it was actually happening to me as I dreamt it:

I woke up or something, somehow ended up at home in Rock Springs.  I know before this, I saw two of my Japanese friends who I've not spoken to in a loooong time.  The first was Daisuke, who I can say is still my bro, although I'm not entirely sure where we stand with each other.  

Considering the fact that his family took care of and provided for me for well over a month in Japan and made me feel like a part of their family, and that his family has done the same for others, but they all screwed them, I'm not entirely sure how I can NOT be one of those others, 
that has screwed his family.  I can honestly say that I'm not sure what is expected of me, or even 
if anything is or ever was.  Also, there was a time at Dai's home, toward the end of my time there 
that I started to feel quite alone, and unwanted, and forsaken (not true in the least, merely 
psychologically trying times), and I left his home feeling in many ways bad for the way I left.  I 
still feel some regret for the manner in which I left his home and his very generous parents, but 
I'm not sure what to do about it, or how to proceed.  I didn't call Dai, or talk to him for a long 
time afterward, he probably felt that I'd forsaken him.  And when I did call once from Nagoya it 
was actually to get his girlfriend to help me with the next stage of my journey and not just to talk 
to him, so I'm sure that didn't entirely smooth things over for me.  Since then, I've called him in 
America a few (maybe 3) times in my entire 6 months of being in Korea.  However, I left Japan 
for Korea and can't help but feel that that somehow reflected negatively on the time I spent in 
Japan and at Daisuke's house .

Anyway, back to the dream.  In my dream I meet up with Daisuke, and we are again in a similar situation to the one we had in Japan together, sleeping on the floor in some Japanese house and talking late into the night about this or that.  I asked him when he was planning to come back to Japan, hoping it would be sometime in the summer.  He confirmed my hopes and I asked him if I could visit him and his parents again in Tokushima for a while.  He say "I don't think so."  I said, "I don't mean to stay at your house, I'll get a hotel, don't worry about that, I wouldn't want to inconvenience you again.  I just want to visit, to say 'Hi' and maybe have some dinner." He said, "I don't think it would be a good idea."  And this is my own mental self reflecting back to the way I left Tokushima (I can say I was definitely experiencing some culture shock and home sickness at this point, and I left in a kind of desperate rush, or so it seemed at the time).

Anyway, analysis of this portion of the dream: I should probably call Dai.  I've been meaning to for a long time, but I always end up nervous about how he might respond.  I can honestly say that the worst thing that could happen would be something like in my dream, to lose a great friend.  I remember when we used to talk about going into business in Japan together, starting an English company of some kind with an exchange of some kind between America and Japan.  I still reflect on such talks and enjoy the memories, because they show a bonding that was meant to last much longer than simply my last year at college.  I look forward to once again someday (hopefully) seeing Dai in a greater context (living in the same area, or at least country) and possibly working together, but who knows where anything will lead these days?  I know I want to return to Japan, but for how long?

Anyway, dream message part two: I met up with Yoko Fujiwara, (who I've not seen or talked to in a very long time) and somehow, after talking to her for a while, it turned out that she had some kind of video tape from Yoshiko.  So, we watched the video of Yoshiko (unclear of the context, or message) but it was obviously a personal message of some kind from Yoshiko who stood before a white background and addressed the camera as an old friend.

Analysis of this part: I've not seen Yoko in a long time, and I do still remember the time I spent at her home, her parents were also quite generous to me (as were all the parents, Yoshiko's, and Keisuke's when I stayed in Japan).  And as for Yoshiko, she is working on finishing her graduating thesis on David Copperfield this week, and she sends me her work (in English) for proof-reading and editting.  I had just finished talking to her about it last night before I had this dream.  So, Dai, Yoko, and Yoshiko are all Japanese, and I stayed at their homes each for periods equally at least one week, and my time in Japan was most definitely the greatest traveling experience I've ever had.  I'm looking forward to going back to Japan (Fukuoka) when I get a break, and I definitely NEED a break (I only got 3 days off for New Years and winter break).  So, perhaps that is why I dreamt of my Japanese friends, and that brings me to part 3 of the dream.

As I said earlier, I woke up somehow in Rock Springs, with my parents.  I was unsure of HOW I had arrived there, only that I was at home and relieved, at long last to have a bit of a break from work.  After talking with my parents for a while, I was shocked to hear my mom say (when referring to my much needed break), "Well, it is nice that we'll have you home here until April 2nd..." After that, everything else just kind of fades away.  April 2nd? That's 70 days away!  How in the hell would I have EVER gotten that much time off from work?  Then I started to wonder about my boss, and our relationship...Had I quit?

Anyway, analysis of part 3: Obviously, I need a break.  And I need a change.  Obviously.

As for the break and change, Chinese New Year is coming up on February 18 (and I get that Monday off) and I am planning to go to Fukuoka ALONE for 3 days or so, for a good trip and a time to recharge in Japan (even though my Japanese still sucks, hahaha).

And as for an even bigger change...I have always in every way intended to work in Korea for only one year.  I knew it from the moment I accepted this job.  Even finding girls to date, churches to go to, clubs to commit to, I know in the back of my mind that I'll only be here for 7 more months, and then I'll be leaving.  I'm not here in Korea to make a career out of my English, at least not yet.  There's more to see, and more to do, and I can't tie myself to a country that's in many ways like a bumbling adolescent, at least not yet.  Maybe I'll come back some day, but when I'm forced to leave the country at the expiration of my visa, I have no intention to renew it.  This in no way means that I'm intending to return to America anytime soon.  I always told myself it would be a minimum of three years abroad or nothing.  But, if I'm not careful, I suppose I will have to resign on in Korea if for no other reason than to avoid returning to America too soon.  However, I did notice today at least ONE place in Japan that has posted a job opening for September 1, 2007.  And my contract ends August 31, 2007.  I think you know what this means...

But still...what's the significance of April 2nd?  Why did my mom specifically name that date in my dream?  Weird...