Learned behavior, changed attitude...

Something I read recently was about changing behaviors. It said something along the lines of, people think that behaviors are representative of attitudes. Like the attitude (rudeness, pessimism, optimism, love, focus) comes first, and the attitude dictates or creates the behavior that follows. However, what I read says that actually behaviors come first and we simply use attitudes to justify pre-existing behaviors. For example, a behavior of throwing your clothes on the floor after work is justified by the attitude of laziness. Laziness didn't come first, the behavior did, but the attitude justifies the behavior and in so doing, reinforces it.

Most people think that in order to change a behavior, you must change the attitude first. But IF attitude is only there to justify pre-existing behaviors, then attempting to change attitude first, and change behavior once the attitude is changed, is like treating the symptoms of a disease and not the disease itself.

How many times have you tried to change your attitude before changing your behavior in some way, only to be unable to change either? I've tried many times to change my attitude (laziness) first, so that my behavior would change in turn (and I would somehow become motivated). However, each and every time, the attitude creeps back in just as I'm trying to change it, and before I have any new behaviors in place to solidify NEW attitudes (motivation). However, what I was reading said that you must change your behavior FIRST and the attitude will follow.

For example, laziness again, let's say that I'm "lazy" and that I routinely throw my clothes on the floor, or don't clean, or don't do my dishes. I used to try to correct the attitude first, so I would try to motivate myself somehow, and that never worked, I never gained the appropriate motivation to get the things done. However, IF I would instead "JUST DO IT" and do the dishes, or hang up the clothes, and force myself into the new behavior without trying to change my attitude, and if I routinely forced myself into the behavior, then the attitude would eventually change, and the old behavior would be lost, because my new attitude about my new behavior would be too strong, and I would have essentially reinvented myself.

It seems to me that things like that routinely happen. For example, how does a pessimist become a pessimist? His attitude is not in place first to justify his behavior of anger toward things and people that he doesn't like. Rather, his behavior comes first. He routinely dwells on bad situations and things, and gets angry, and regrets. Behavior first. Over time, the anger comes faster and easier, (a learned behavior to a certain stimulus) and he uses his attitude (pessimism) to justify his behavior (anger). So, in order to change that, the behavior must be undone first, or a new behavior must come in to take the place of the old behavior, and ONLY THEN can the attitude (pessimism) be changed (to optimism) to justify the NEW, LEARNED behavior.

It seems to me, after all, that all behaviors, and habits are learned, and after thinking about it for some time, it does seem to me that attitudes justify behaviors or habits, and do come after the behavior is learned and firmly established.

Stop trying to change your attitude first. You want to be a different person? Change your behavior first, the attitude will follow. Stop treating the symptoms, and not the disease.