***CAUTION***
This is INCREDIBLY LONG. Four pages in Word, single spaced. You are warned.
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So, I just watched a show on Discovery Channel about a guy and his exploration into Japan and Japanese culture, and as I was watching I had amazing memories of visiting the same places and doing many of the same things that he did. And while the guy in the show constantly complained and commented that "I just don't get it, I don't think I'll ever understand Japan" my thoughts about the same things were "wow, I LOVE that, that's amazing, maybe I don't get it, but that's why I find it absolutely fascinating, that's why I love it."
Perhaps needless to say, but my time in Japan was the most memorable, fascinating, amazing, even healthy and restful time I've ever had in my life. Perhaps that's only because I was so lazy there, and not working, but I can't help the effect Japan has had on me and continues to have on me.
Also needless to say, the time I've spent in Korea wasn't nearly as wonderful as promised. Korea has definitely been an amazing experience, and under different circumstances, I would have to say that this could have been my favorite country. It has amazing food, amazing people, amazing culture and customs, and not least of all amazing women. The girls here have the most beautiful hair of any other Asian country I've ever seen. You could take a really ugly girl and she'd still have amazingly sexy hair. That makes the really great looking girls (and there are a lot) even better. However, there are still a few things about Korea that continually put me off, and in many ways it probably all hinges on my current situation.
Perhaps I should start at...the beginning of the story...before I tell...the rest of the story.
When I went to Japan the first time, I had a few motivations to go there. For one, my best friend offered me a free place to stay for three months, how could I refuse? For two, I had just graduated from university (after 6 years) and needed a vacation. Three, I was definitely planning on looking for a job in Asia (unknown to my parents at the time) and although at that point I had not completely made up my mind as to where to go, my friend and I had talked extensively about teaching in Japan, which was in big part because of reason four, that I'd ALWAYS wanted to go to Japan and live there for 3 years or more. (Of course, my decision to teach in Japan wasn't FOR SURE at this point for two reasons (a) I wasn't completely sure I HAD graduated and therefore COULD apply for a job, and (b) because this whole thing seemed in many ways more like my friend's "baby" and not so much like me making my own decisions in life). And this brings us to reason five, a girl, 'nuff said.
Over the course of my time in Japan, in addition to the amazing time that I had, I started to get a few hints that maybe I shouldn't stay, weigh those as you will. In order of events, first, a Korean girl I know called me at my friend's house in Japan in the middle of a particularly difficult week of homesickness, and that first got me thinking about Korea. Later, I called my parents, and their words strongly influenced the final decision. Eventually, I went traveling in Japan, away from my best friend's house (up to this point he and his family had strongly encouraged me to get a job in Japan, much as my own family had strongly encouraged me NOT to, and my Japan job seemed more like their wish for me than my own (I was just feeling pressured on all sides, and needed a break from it all to really figure things out)). And of course, the girl (who I did meet later in my travels) was more interested in her career path in Japan than in giving anything else a chance, so eventually, with a number of things piling up, I made the decision to come to Korea.
A few of the reasons for coming to Korea, my own and my parents, include: (1) I'd never been to Korea, but had been to China and Japan, I thought I should round out my Asian experience with at least one trip to Korea (plus I had lots of friends here that I've not seen in years). (2) Korea is a more Christian nation (although true, and incredibly easy to find a church, I found that once I actually got OUT in Japan and to some bigger cities it was still quite easy to find a church, plus, this Christianity also makes Korea far more conservative, something I like sometimes and hate other times). (3) Korea pays better (pay is actually the same, but cost of living in Japan is much higher and I don't pay rent for an apartment in Korea) (4) The job offers I had in Japan started sooner than I (a) wanted and (b) thought I could handle (for one thing, my degree was needed for a teaching visa, and my school is nearly as lazy as me, not printing or shipping degrees until July. The job in Korea started in late July, giving just enough time to get the degree, and a teaching visa to teach legally in the country as opposed to a tourist visa (which I would have been doing for a while in Japan, IF the companies were even still interested in hiring me without a degree in hand). And of course (5) there was now no good (romantic) reason tying me to or keeping me in Japan.
After 6 months in Korea, there are now no longer that many good reasons (romantic or not) tying me here, and more and more things are encouraging me to return to Japan (consider the way something sparks inside me everytime I hear Japanese, see Japan, talk to a Japanese person (met one guy here who is Japanese-Korean, and he is easily my favorite guy around, I still really think Japanese people are great, very interesting, and quite kind and fun), or remember Japan, and consider as well my long term goals of robotics (seems Japan is leading in that field, or at least is dealing with the kinds of things I am highly interested in, such as having cute, or humanoid robots as interactive "helpers" for people in normal life, whereas so many others concentrate on the more static, mechanical "what can this robot do specifically" idea like we see in car manufacturing facilities)).
The Korean plusses are falling away. One of the biggest things that I DON'T like about this is my job, and it's not just my job, but the general way that (it seems) the entire English teaching business is conducted around here. Being raised in a Christian home, I was raised with much stricter moral standards than many other people in the country, and that still has affected me here (I was also quite naive coming into this situation). For one thing, the Korean government has stated that it is illegal for any foreigner to work in any job other than what their visa is granted for (for example, English teachers can't make money performing in the arts on their English teaching visas, and an instance of this happened in Busan I believe with a group of foreigners getting arrested), and a visa is granted after signing a contract with ONE school. Therefore, it is technically illegal for a teacher to work anywhere besides one school, including teaching private lessons, etc. However, it is one practice that is widely overlooked, and widely practiced around here. I've even heard instances of teachers who teach at one school being warned Immigration is coming to check the school and just to stay at home until the Immigration Officials leave (or hide in the back of the school).
But regardless of the legality of teaching like this, is the pain of doing so. I currently work at 3 different places, not including the two "privates" my boss is making me do under contract (in other words, as far as I know, my boss gets paid the standard $30/hr for the privates, but I only see about $15/hr because the hours I work there are under contract with him). And, tomorrow I will have university classes as well. That adds up to 6 different places I have to be on a weekly basis, just under contract (not including anything I might happen to pick up on the side). And all of that will add up to at between $10-$30/day in taxi fare, and adding all of that up, it will be about $100/week at least just for taxis to get to the schools I will teach at. Although that amount will be reimbursed to me at the end of the month in my contract pay, that still makes just getting to classes rather inconvenient. Considering as well that IF I had stayed in Japan, a subway ride from a suburb of Osaka, Ikoma, into the heart of Osaka would cost less than $5/way, so maybe $10/day minimum if I'm going deep into the city to work, or up to $20/day if I'm doing lots of traveling around for shopping (because as far as I know, I would only work for ONE school in Japan at ONE location (though one school I know had two places), and at least a few that I looked at were near the home that I would rent).
Now compound the money with the fact that nearly all these "schools" I've been "contracted" out for don't even know what they want me to teach. Often I walk into a place with nothing (I don't have kindergarten books) and the school has nothing as well. I ask, "what should I do?" and they say "what will you do?" They provide no books, no curriculum, and no guidance beyond, "Teach them conversational English." The kids are 3-6 years old for crying out loud, they don't even know conversational Korean yet! I'm just constantly surprised by the fact that the schools and the directors have nothing for me, and expect me to just DO something, or bring something, or whatever, but I never get any notice about it.
That's something else I've been frustrated by around here, the lack of notice for anything. My boss used to call me last minute for everything. "We have a meeting in 20 minutes, be ready" on a Saturday that turns into a 2 hour orientation meeting (and speech from me) at a camp that I'm not even teaching. My boss used to call me last minute to teach another teacher's class who was sick or didn't show up at work that day. For a month I worked 12 hour days because he was short one teacher, and for the last three months, I had another teacher's job (since she quit). Good thing my university classes ended, or it would have been 12 hour days for the last three months as well. I noticed for a while there, my boss could call me any Saturday with additional things and if I didn't have plans, he could easily get me to do something for him. I ended up having to make plans, or go to a different city, or SAY I was in a different city, or turn off my phone. Koreans don't understand hesitation over the phone or in person. They seem to take any answer for a solid YES, even if it's "will you give a speech at my camp?" and you say "I guess I COULD" and you mean SOMETIME, but he means RIGHT NOW. And at least a few of them get offended when your hesitant "yes" isn't followed to the letter immediately (one girl I know said "Illusionist movie looks interesting right?" I said, "yeah, I might see it." she said, "let's see it Thursday" I said "I work" she said "do you work Friday?" I said "no" and when Friday was approaching and I said that I had other plans, she got incredibly offended thinking that we had strongly agree to go together on Friday and that our decision was set in stone (though I had only told her "I don't work Friday.")).
Anyway, more on the teaching. I'm perfectly fine with doing my own thing, IF the school gives me some kind of direction. After all, this is still my first year teaching, so I'm not that experienced. One school told me they don't have English books, and don't have money to buy any, so I should buy some. When I asked what they wanted they said, "we don't know, teach conversation." I suggested story books (I do stories in many other places) and they said "mmm, not story books, conversation." Well, that doesn't help me much does it? One school I've taught at for the last three months, no problem, one teacher always helped out and provided me with the materials I would use each week. Now, she is gone and I have no materials, so I've had to find something laying around in the school to try and use. In addition, the same school added a "special class" that I am supposed to have for an extra hour in the mornings 9-10am, but for the first three weeks when I arrived, they had no materials and just sent me into a class full of 30 or so kids and said "Play." I said, "what? Play what? Should I teach something?" and the director just pointed to a bunch of toys and said again, "Play." OK. So I "played" and tried to teach English.
I'm getting the feeling more and more around here that foreign English teachers are more for show than anything else. Everything in Korea is based on appearances. People buy bigger, newer cars and apartments just to SHOW how rich they are. There is a street in Seoul with a plastic surgery clinic in every building and Korean girls do get lots of plastic surgery (not all, but many). Foreign teachers come to orientation meetings with parents only to say, "Hi, I'm Aaron, I'm foreign" and then sit back down, just to SHOW the parents that "wow, this is a good school, because they have a foreigner." People are constantly judged based on appearances. People tell me I'm handsome, and sometimes I feel that (at least some) girls only are interested in me because I'm foreign and "wow, what an appearance that would be, to have a foreign boyfriend." And another thing that bothers me quite a bit here has to do with the girls, more specifically their fathers.
I've known plenty of relationships between foreigners and Korean girls that have been broken simply because of the father. In many cases the father doesn't even meet the foreigner (this isn't to say that all fathers hate their daughters dating foreigners, but that definitely seems to be the case). In many instances I've heard of (and possibly even in my case, though the girl I dated did live in a different city and that got to be difficult after a while) as soon as the father hears of a foreign boyfriend, he tells the daughter to break it off with him. In fact, I was talking to a foreign friend yesterday who said that in all the cases he's heard of (of course, we're in a fairly small, conservative city) in which a foreigner and Korean girl are successfully dating, the father is out of the picture, either divorced, or gone, or something. Even my boss, as I've been told is like that. His daughter once expressed interest in possibly dating a foreigner one day and he said that he wouldn't allow it. And this is a man who employs many foreigners (up to 10 currently) and has visited Canada many times, and clearly likes foreigners, but he still won't have his daughter dating one. I heard that 15% of new marriages in Korea were Korean men marrying foreign girls, so obviously there's no problem there. The problem comes if you're a foreign man trying to date a Korean girl. I've heard things as well (not sure how true) about "trying to keep the purity of the race" or something like that, but it still has a tendency to be quite frustrating, even thinking about it (I'm currently single). And when I was dating a Korean girl, I literally felt like everyone was staring at me whenever I walked down the street holding her hand.
Anyway, this has run on longer than I thought it would, but it was interesting to really put lots of words to it. Currently the most frustrating things here are the last minute everythings (I don't even know my schedule for tomorrow), the running all over the city for teaching, the lack of information, teaching materials or direction, and the split shifts (I will work tomorrow 10-12 pm, then MAYBE 4-6pm, then 8-10pm, awesome). This lack of consistency with my job, the constant changes, and whatnot are seriously starting to wear me out. Oh well, only 6 more months of it. Then, I'm heading back to Japan. I'll gladly take a pay cut, a little more expense, less beautiful hair, and a more beautiful language, for a little more certainty, and a few less surprises (stress).
Seriously, for a while I was so stressed by the surprise "you're teaching in 3 minutes" phone calls that everytime I looked at my phone I cringed. And for a while as well, I worked so much (with so much stress during the week) that I couldn't even enjoy my weekends, because as soon as they started, I cringed thinking about Monday. Maybe that's why I got so sick for 3 or 4 months. I quit eating right, sometimes didn't eat at all. I ordered pizza 2 times a week. Maybe that's why I lost the girl, haha. Oh well. Eventually I started reading that if your body doesn't get ENOUGH food, or enough sleep, or especially enough protein, it can't fight off illnesses or infections effectively. Add that to the constant stress, and the constant sniffling, sneezing, coughing of the kids, no wonder I was so sick. But, after changing my diet to include plenty of protein, and constantly eating (to keep the metabolism revved), I'm finally starting to get better. In fact, I've not coughed seriously all day (except for a few minor irritations). Maybe I can even go back to running in another week or two (weights start next week).
And that, as they say, is "the rest of the story."
